A Double Dose of Sisters, a Few Good Men and Cheezies.....

A necessary prescription for kick-ass (k-a) healing? 

Point Roberts, WA

Available at most grocery stores 

My heart healing... a work in progress... involves the following:  

A double dose of sisters (I have two); India; Nature; A good counsellor… who lives close to...  nature... and to angels (mine does!);  My inner child; Friends…. the ones who aren’t afraid to tell me the butt-naked truth… and then tell me again because I have to learn most things twice! A tall glass of wine… prn; Nature; Barbara's Cheez Puffs (the best!), A fair settlement agreement; Klondike Solitaire; Point Roberts; Trashy magazines (whatever this is to you?  For me It's "Hello" and "People!" Yikes!!!! That's the most difficult confession than anything else I've written so far! )  Nature, Vietnam (with my sister), Giggles…lots.... prn, A few good men… especially my son and the sons of others (you know who you are!) and ... One tiny house…. in nature!  (More about tiny houses later!)  

I was in Rajasthan, India when the main man in my story descended into adolescence and called us off. Again!

Love, loyalty, longevity... pushed aside.  No going back this time.  No talking it through.  No recourse.  No reconciliation. No crisis.  I’ll never know what the limits are on trip cancellation insurance.  I’ll never know if it covers marital departure.  There was shock.  No awe.  But, no going back. No doubt. I never doubted the healing capacity of India.  Atleast the clarity of intent, if not action, was liberating.  

Elizabeth Gilbert knows that India is a good place to heal.  India’s also a good place to get hit over the head with a good dose of reality.  Because… India has the unique characteristic of cradling and holding… of sustaining grief.  So does my sister.  She was with me in Rajasthan.  Healing my heart began with India… and with my sister.  

Suffice it to say that like Lidia, my sister graduated to the “50 something” club for loss and grieving at a very young age.  Her first husband commit suicide as a result of PTSD, albeit after they had already separated.  But, in her mid 20’s, she was already on the front lines of his descension into disequilibrium.  It‘s not fair to lose two husbands to death in one lifetime.  But, as the cliché goes…no one said life would be fair.  She came with experience. 

My relationship with my sister has been hard won.  Typical for siblings… especially so close in age… we did not always get along.  But the want for intimacy was there.  Like all intimate relationships, we worked at love with the same ingredients my main man rejected.  Loyalty, desire, determination, tenacity… and a willingness to learn how to listen.  When we left YVR for India in a flurry of excited expectation neither my sister nor I had any idea that the trip would become one big test… of love.  Love for India. Love for each other. Love for ourselves.